If 2016 was a rough year for you, you are not alone. The aftermath of divorce looks different for every family, but it is never easy. In the moment it can be raw, emotional, unbearable and tragic. It can be hard to think straight and objectively. If you have children, you and your ex-spouse will always have a connection and you cannot simply part ways. It is during these times that you need to remember your children love you both, they are trying to please both of you at all times, and they are now trying to figure out how they fit in this new reality. It will never be the correct decision to talk about the details of your divorce with your kids (yes, even if your ex is telling them stuff - don't engage). It will never be the correct decision to say negative things about the other parent (even if it is deserved) or tell them the "truth" about the horrible things the other parent has done to your family. Doing either of these will only cause long-term and short-term damage to your children on an emotional and psychological level. If you feel yourself about to do either, take a deep breath, and choose to take the higher road. You have a choice. Let your kids be kids (even if they are teenagers or almost young adults - you should not be discussing these topics with them). Be their rock, let them concentrate on developing their own lives - not living in the past of yours. It may seem impossible, but time will heal the grief. Your children may even get angry at you for not "involving" them in conversations about your divorce, that's okay. They are grieving the loss of their family and grief is a process, they will be angry at times. You are their parent first, and that is the only way to have a healthy friendship later. The New Year is about moving onward and upward. Take the higher road and be actively involved with helping your kids move forward in their lives, it will undoubtedly help you move on in yours.
If you need to talk or need advice, I would be happy to chat.
Amber Rush, Navigate Law Group
firstname.lastname@example.org or 360-205-2206
Every legal issue is very unique. Accordingly, the information in this blog is intended as general education material and not as legal advice. If you think you may have a legal issue you should consult an attorney.